Photos of the Past
by Sailorpipn
Summary: My answer to WIKTT Butterfly Effect Challange. Snape has lost Hermione. But does it have to be forever? Or with a glance at a picture can he change everything and everyone? MF,AU,NC,Solo Chapter 4 is up!
1. Prologue

_How can something as simple as a picture show us for who we really are? How can it not only show what we look like to the world but our inner essence as well? Even having a smile on the outside doesn't hide the turmoil in our hearts. It won't hide the pain you feel from the loss of a loved one. It can't hide your shame when you fail another test, or at life in general. It can't even hide the murderous feelings you have towards the person standing right next to you, pretending just like you, with a smile on their face. Then why take pictures? If they are nothing more then a cover up gone wrong, why stand with a smile plastered on your face like any common fool? Why take a picture, when in 5 years when you pull it out of that old, smelly shoebox, you won't even remember posing for it?_

"You have no idea of what you are talking about!" he growled at her. Anger was written onto his face and etched deep into his eyes. Where there used to be that glint of superiority was now a look of hatred, greed and malice. Everything she had know, loved and hated was gone. And in its place was him. A shell of a man she had once known and now barely recognized.

"I've never known you to be a liar," she gritted out through clenched teeth. Her brow was creased and her hands clenched with controlled anger. She would not lose her temper. Not for him. "She's the only one who has ever had the guts to stand up to and you're going to let her leave. You're going to lose your only chance with her."

"I don't need her! I don't need anyone." Slowly he strutted over to the corner table next to his bed. Opening the drawer he pulled out a glass and a bottle of brandy. Opening it and pouring himself a glass he murmured, "She doesn't want me, just like I don't want her."

"If you are going to let yourself believe that, then you are a fool. You're the bloody git the students always spoke about!" Quickly she stormed over to him and with a flash of lightning she knocked the glass from his hand.

"Get out!" He stood tall and straight, towering over the woman. "Just get out!" he bellowed again, raining his hands to push her away.

"That's how you lost her the first time… violence Severus? Is that what you are going to do to me? Hit me? Try to break me, like you've done to all your students and family for years? If you let her leave then you're always going to be alone. Because the rest of us are giving up. We aren't going to coddle you anymore. If you won't take it upon yourself to grow up we aren't going to help you either. You are not the same person you were 20 years ago. But if you continue like this you'll be worse…"

His body shook. Anger was blurring his vision. His body hurt worse then it ever did when the Dark Mark summoned him to Voldemort. "Get out Minerva. I don't want to see you every again!"

His eyes followed her as she walked to the door. Sighing he sat back down when the door finally creaked shut. Why was he letting her talk to him like that? She had no right to talk to him like that! Anger swelled in him again and in a flash of fury, he threw the brandy bottle to the wall.

"Minerva has no idea of what she's talking about…"

**_AN: I hope no one is too confused. This is the prologue. Severus has lost Hermione. From here on it are going to be events on how he lost her and how he rectifies what happened! I hope that clarifies something._**

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Challenge:

Write a story based loosely on the movie, Butterfly Effect starring Ashton Kutcher. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, it is about a boy who goes back into his past after reading his journal. He goes to critical points in his past and changes what he did at the time, and when he wakes up in a different life. Everything has changed.  
Challenge Requirements:  
-Either Severus or Hermione are the ones going back and changing their lives

-There must be at least 2 different "realities" to show an effect. Preferably shows  
differences in Hermione and Severus's interaction with each other and others.

-In one reality Harry Potter is either  
dead  
not the boy who lived i.e. Voldemort never came by and gave him his lovely little mark.  
never born  
-The item(s) that trigger the person going back either as to be:  
A diary  
A book (Hogwart's A History)  
A Potrait  
A potion  
NOT A TIME TURNER  
-It can end any way you want. Sad, happy, thought provoking.  
-It can be One part or multipart  
-Rating is up to you  
-Post offline on sites such as , , (If rated R or NC-17, and etc....)  
-Challenge Ends November 30, 2004


	2. 2

Silently he sat in the Headmaster's office. Feeling old, his body tired, he leaned comfortable back in the worn chair. His eyes gazed up at the portraits surrounding the office. The previous Headmaster smiled to him and chatted freely between each other. Blocking out their incessant noise, Severus leaned his head back and closed his eyes, only to re-open them at the sudden creaking of the office door.

"Severus my dear boy, can I offer you a lemon drop?"

Severus raised his hand is a dismissing manner, receiving a small chuckle from the Headmaster.

"Now, now, don't act like that." Severus watched as Albus walked to his desk then his chair. Age was settling swiftly inside the old man's bones. In the privacy of his office, he walked slowly, carefully before sitting tiredly in his chair. "What's happened now, Severus?"

Taking a deep breath, Severus looked in Albus' eyes. The sparkle was dimly lit, awaiting the news of the latest Death Eater strike.

"He's planning his attack," he bit out slowly. "Planning it for right after the graduation feast. Even the Dark Lord has some morals, not letting students, unless graduated, join his ranks. At least four Slytherins will be taking the mark graduation night. And in the morning they strike."

Albus shook his slowly. "And he has everything ready?"

"He does. His minions will be settling on grounds during the night, while we celebrate and pack for home. Thinking the students and staff not to be ready, he has called for all Death Eaters to meet and get assignments the night before. He is coming Albus and we have three weeks to prepare. And three weeks is not a lot of time."

"No, but it will have to do, won't it." Again Albus shook his head, misery filling his eyes. "And we won't even be able to send the students home, for he will find out that we know."

"We can send some home, can't we Albus? The younger students aren't needed for a graduation celebration. After all they aren't graduating. All 7th years will stay and fight. There's no other way to do it."

"I suppose you're right. And how are you Severus? How are you holding up?" Albus looked at his potions master intently, hoping beyond belief that for once he came back with no wounds.

"I am fine. A little beaten around the edges but this was a light night. More for making plans then the usual 'fun'."

"Then go rest my boy. I'll start sending owls to the Order members. We'll need everyone here as quick as possible."

Slowly Severus rose from his chair. Standing straight against his body's protest he walked to the door. "There won't be a need to send one to Rasen Solner. He's a traitor." He could hear Albus suck in a breath as he opened the door and walked down the stairs leaving the office.

It took him a long time to get to his quarters, his legs nearly giving out from underneath him numerous times. Making it down the stairs to the dungeons was a miracle. His hands shook and his eyes hurt, the last remnants of the Cruciatus curse clinging to his tired body. With the last of his strength he pushed the door to his bedroom open and collapsed into bed. Laying his head on his pillow he kicked off his shoes and closed his eyes.

Next to him the mattress sagged as someone turned to face him.

"Are you alright?"

"Hnn." was his response, to tired to made a understand reply.

"Alright then just go to sleep." He could feel the person move closer to him, her warmth radiating from her body. He felt her pull his arm up, wrapping to around his waist. She snuggled close to him and rested her forehead against his, their breath mingling. Slightly her lips brushed his and he smiled.

"I love you." She whispered.

"Love you. _Hermione_…"


	3. 3

**_ENJOY!!! AND PLEASE REVIEW; I LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU ALL ARE THINKING ABOUT MY WRITING!! _**

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"Severus, it's time to get up… we have class…"

He could hear her voice, gently bringing him back to reality. Her hand rested on his shoulder in between soft shakes to awaken him. Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking quickly to adjust to the light. Hermione has insisted on a numerous amount of candles being added to their chamber, so in the morning it was especially bright.

His body opposed movement, and fought his decision to rise and get out of bed. Stretching, you could hear light pops are his body fell back into place. Looking up to Hermione, he saw a grimace on her face.

"You look like a giant black and blue…" She tried to smile to him but her eyes weren't sparkling. "I'll get you the usual, hopefully then you'll feel better." Hurriedly she headed to the closet at the far end of the room where Severus kept emergency potions, like the one needed now. Rummaging through, her head inside the closet, he heard her ask, "Why didn't you just go to Madame Pomfrey last night? You would have slept better."

"That isn't true…" he murmured in reply. "Poppy would have made me stay in the infirmary all night. And besides I always sleep better with you next to me…"

She didn't respond, just closed the closet and walked back to him, holding a small green vial. Putting her hand back on his shoulder she pushed him into a sitting position on the bed. "Drink it all…"

Don't I always?" he said with a smirk. Having brewed the potion, and many like it, he knew how vile it would taste. But Hermione would never have him only drinking a couple sips so she calmly waited for him to finish it all.

"You'll need to make some more of that potion tonight. Along with the Dreamless Sleep and the Days of Death potion, you're running low on both."

Severus nodded. Within the last 5 months, from the students return from Christmas Break, he had been called to no less then two-dozen Death Eater meetings. Everyone was getting anxious. They wanted to strike but Voldemort had been very insistent on choosing a date. So they were forced to settle on small attacks, attacking muggle families. It got to the point where there would be gang rapes of muggle girls, and sometimes boys. And while Severus was allowed to not act in most of the 'parties' when it came to killings it was expected. He would do it quick and easy, hoping not to cause the individual too much pain. Sometimes he was expected to make them suffer, or make family members watch as their loved one twisted in pain and horror. He would take the youngest first. Making it seem like they would just be going into a nice easy sleep, he would whisper gentle words in their ears, and with a flick of the wrist, or wand, they were gone. Sometimes though, their fear still got the best of them and you could see pain on their faces, but sometimes they looked serene, peaceful. Then he would head to the parents making it just as fast, unless being watched by Voldemort. Then he would take the wife and torture the husband. His Death Eater mask could hide his emotions from the others. But when he returned home, back to Hogwarts, back to Hermione, nothing could cover what he felt. Thus many nights he would take a Dreamless Sleep potion, the only way he would get any sleep that night. And many mornings he would take a revival potion, to help his body get through the pain of the Cruciatus curse. Hermione would help him as well, massaging his shoulders to help him relax. If it were really bad she would levitate him to the infirmary when everyone was asleep or in class so they wouldn't be seen. She took really good care of him.

"Will you help me brew them?" he asked after he had finished his potion. "If I have to do three at one time I'll need some help."

"Of course." Her smile was better now, almost reaching her eyes.

Putting the now empty vial on the bed, he took her hands in his. "Voldemort is planning his attack. Graduation morning… We're going to be evacuating all first through sixth year students but all seventh years are expected to stay. That way it looks like the Order has no idea of what's been planned."

Hermione nodded.

"I don't want you fighting…" he whispered knowing what her answer would be.

"We've had this conversation already." Hermione squeezed his hand reassuringly. "As long as the people I care about, Harry, Ron… you… as long as you are out there giving you life, then I will be at your side. Besides," she tried to laugh, failing miserably "If I don't look after you, who will?"

"Hermione…" he tried again.

"End of discussion Severus. We have three weeks to get ready, and we are already late for breakfast… I'll help you dress."


	4. 4

**PLEASE REVIEW**

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He watched her as she ate. Pushing back the information she knew, she smiled and laughed with her friends. She looked carefree but if watched close enough, you saw how her shoulders were slumped, looking defeated. Her eyes weren't as bright as usual and her mannerisms lacked her usual enthusiasm.

_He loved her so much._ He wanted her to be alive again. He hated himself for putting another burden on her shoulders, but if he hadn't told her she would have found out by the Headmaster or by Potter.

Severus couldn't remember the last time someone made his as happy as Hermione did. She was smart and beautiful. Her intelligence was matched by no other, except maybe his own.

She was a Gryffindor, but if you could get past that quality, she was perfect. Severus almost chuckled at the table. Others had thought their differences in House would have made it difficult to maintain a relationship, but her Gryffindor qualities were what he loved most. It was her strength and courage that made her wonderful. She wasn't afraid to fight with him. Even in class they would whisper their arguments to each other when he walked by her making sure no caldrons was ready to explode.

Not many knew of their relationship, just a few of the Gryffindors who Hermione trusted most. Harry and Ron had been shocked at first but in the end decided her happiness was more important. The staff of course knew, but kept it in secret so the ministry had no idea of what happened behind closed doors. Minerva had even been supportive of Severus, though she had threatened to castrate him if he dared hurt her favorite student.

Sometimes, when Severus thought very hard, he could recall the exact moment his feelings towards Hermione changed. Honestly though, the change had been so gradual that when it occurred it wasn't the momentous occasion he sometimes imagined it to be.

Remembering, he could picture her sitting in his Advanced Potions class. She sat in the front, as usual choosing the seat closest to him though at that point he didn't know why she chose to sit so close. On her left was Potter and at her right was Weasley. Somehow Longbottom had managed to get into his 7th year potions class and was seated behind Malfoy on the right side of the room. Why he didn't sit closer to Hermione he didn't know, since he was guaranteed to need her help.

She looked strangely confident, a brave smile on her face as she sat ready to take notes and brew the assigned potion. She was ready.

He stood in front of the class and with a sharp glance he caught their attention. With their shutting mouths, he glared smugly to each of them. "Get you ingredients and begin!" he practically shouted.

He remembered how her eyes watched him as he strutted back to his desk. It had felt somewhat creepy, like she was studying him more intently then her potion. Turning to meet her gaze, she had turned a slight pink and quickly turned away.

After that day, he had noticed her staring more and more. In the halls, he would feel her gaze burning into him, at meals, she looked to the head table more then she looked to her friends. Slowly he began looking more at her, constantly meeting her gaze. Sometimes she would send a smile, other times she would giggle and blush. He had been appalled at her first smile. Why in Merlin's name would she, Hermione Granger, Gryffindor know-it-all, smile at him? But, strangely enough, he liked it. He liked the way her smile met her eyes and how she would turn a cherry sort of pink when she became embarrassed. He liked how she didn't care that her hair was a little messy and that she wore no make-up. He even liked her ink stained fingers from her 10 feet parchment long essays.

After a few weeks, it became more of a competition. Who would turn away first? Most times, he won but only because she was forced to turn away and look back to her friends. He found himself thinking about legs, long and slender, which were partially hidden from her uniform as she kept the shirt length to her knees. He thought, no fantasized, about her hands. He wanted so badly to have them roam around his body or just to hold her hand in his. He thought about her face and how he could get lost in her eyes. Her hair, while still curly, had become more tame. Most days she held it high in a tight bun, exposing her slender neck. Oh, how he wanted to kiss that neck and rub his face in her hair. He was falling and he had no idea why.

There were nights when he would lie in bed and he would dream of her. She would lie next to him, holding his hand, kissing his cheek and he would smile. Severus Snape would actually smile. Other times, he would see her come into his quarters wearing nothing but her outer robes and she would climb into bed with him and kiss him with a fire he had never felt. His body would burn where she touched and he was sure he would wake with marks the next morning. Sometimes, his throbbing was so painful he was sure that no matter what actions he took, it wouldn't be contained.

In the morning, he would be disgusted with himself because, she was after all his student. Feeling such things would never be allowed. Yet he allowed himself some hope that maybe, just maybe, the reason she stared at him so much was because she felt the same things that he was.

Two weeks before Christmas break, the unbelievable happened. She had received a detention for helping Neville and even though she arrived right on time, she wore a scowl. She had been told to clean that day's cauldrons. She began her work with no remark.

He watched her, his eyes never leaving her form. He watched as sweat creased her brow as she shrugged off her robe to get comfortable, as one piece of hair constantly fell in front of her eyes. After about the fourth time of her pushing the hair back behind her ear he couldn't take it anymore.

He had startled her when he stood up from his chair. She had even let an out a little squeak when he threw the cauldron to the side, wrapped his hands around her neck and placed his lips on hers. He was on fire. She was on fire. Every image he had thought about came rushing into his head and he didn't want to let her go.

That incident had sparked something in them both and many evening after he found her knocking on his office door. She would come in and sit down, never saying a word, just basking in his company. During Christmas break he was miserable. She was gone and he missed her terribly.

The night she had returned, he hadn't even been able to say "Hello," before he was called to a Death Eater meeting. The pain in his arm so great that he had barely made it to the Headmaster before grabbing a portkey to leave the grounds. The usual fun was had that evening and when Severus returned he was torn and beaten. She had been there. She had been sitting patiently in an armchair waiting for him. She had coaxed him into bed with a glass of warm milk and then gently took off his out layers of clothing. While marveling his bloodstained clothes, she still said nothing. After helping him get as comfortably possible she had climbed into bed with him. He had said nothing when she snuggled against him, noticing for the first time she was in her nightclothes, a white tank top and boxer shorts. She put her head on his chest, content to hear his heart beat. Even through the pain, it was the best night's sleep he could remember.

Every night after that, he found her climbing into his bed. Sometimes she would come right after curfew, other nights she wouldn't climb in until after midnight. How she knew the passwords to get in, he didn't know, but he had a feeling Albus had something to do with it. Not surprising, the old man had been happy when he went with Hermione to him one Saturday to explain themselves. He had smiled his usual smile, his eyes filled with his bright twinkle. He had even congratulated them and wished them happiness...

And happiness was what he had. He wouldn't lose her at the final battle ... no matter what.


End file.
